Note to Self: You do not have green thumbs but don’t give up.

“The love of gardening is a seed once sown never dies” – Gertrude Jekyll

Dear Self,

“The love of gardening is a seed once sown never dies” – Gertrude Jekyll

Ms. Jeklly was blessed with green thumbs! How else could she have created so many gardens that dot the British landscape? Ms. Jekyll never had the pleasure of meeting you.  For in you she would have found an opposite. You don’t have just brown thumbs; in fact all your fingers are brown!!

The most common plant, money plant is also called the Devil’s vine because it is almost impossible to kill and grows well even without sunlight. Well that plant finally met its match in you. Remember the first time you decided to plant? Your mother suggested the money plant since it was easy to grow and all one would need was water. Recollect how that turned out? Sufficient to say there’s nothing more to write about it here.  Was it over watering or too much sunlight? You really cannot put your (brown) thumb on it, can you? Several other attempts at growing any other plant were also met with a similar fate. You invested in gardening books, soil manure, pesticides but the vegetation just did not get the green!

You had to reluctantly acknowledge that your plans to own an enviable garden were weeded out. You are like the death eater of plants. So you let others do the gardening and sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

But every now and then a seed sows itself in the brain and says you shouldn’t give up. Maybe you should listen to it, plant it and let it sprout!!! Don’t give up!

Note of appreciation

This is a note of appreciation for my son, Darsh. The little man who has all of my heart!! He is all of 6 years old, yet sensitive and insightful. He loves to spin little stories and goes to great lengths to convince me that they are real.  Addicted to dinosaurs and dragons, his recent knowledge of one of them being extinct and the other being a fantasy has left him a little heart-broken.

 The last couple of years have been a little tough on the youngster, since both my husband and I were busy and away from home most of the time. Our social commitments were many and there were often occasions where we could not take him along. Although he was never left alone and was always under supervised care, I always felt guilty leaving him behind. He probably felt saddened but he always said good bye with a smile (I think he secretly enjoyed our absence as he wouldn’t have to worry about my constant scrutiny of everything he did). He waited up till we got back home and welcomed us home with a ‘so glad you’re back’ hug! Not once did he throw a tantrum or complain or has had either of his parents called back from a function or a party.

The poor lad also bore the brunt of my irritation and agitation with the rest of the world. And what did he give me in return? Unconditional love. Even if he had just been yelled at before bed time, it was me he wanted to cuddle with before falling asleep. I was always absolved instantly.

Dear Darsh,

This is my gratitude and appreciation for your patience and all the maturity you have shown and continue to show well beyond your age and for the big heart that you have!

PS: For your sake, I do hope dinosaurs (only dinosaurs, no dragons) return, except maybe not that gigantic and ferocious!

This is a blog post for one of the challenges for the 30 days of challenge!

Apple Pie for 13 please!

We descended upon this quaint little university town back in 1997 all set to pursue our degree in Hotel Management from a very prestigious and reputed institute. 17 /18 year old boys and girls, with starry eyes and defiance written all over our faces as if to say “come on world, throw what you’ve got at us, we’re ready!!” We believed that success was as easy as apple pie.   In reality I think we were all just a bunch of bumbling teenagers still troubled by acne, unsure of what to expect and actually shit scared.

But four years of hostel life can really change your perception of what an apple pie is.

Hostel life can teach you a lot! As least I was definitely benefited by it to a large extent. To cut a long story short I was no longer a ‘Bhenji’(For those who are going to try and refute these, please compare my first year and final pictures). The most important and biggest gift it gave us was the gift of everlasting friendship. Yeah I’m going to get all soppy from here on.  If you have leaky tear gland keep some tissues at hand.

We didn’t find out best friends on day one. Not even in the first year. Back then we never hung out with the same crowd for too long. The heart is a fickle thing… our friends changed according to our moods. It was the mind that was making rational choices. And out of the blue, friendships began to cement. Sometimes really slowly and at other times at lightning pace. We bonded with some over shared philosophies and with others over passion for books. Some alliances were forged over a common dislike of someone and some over mutual admiration. The prime reason, I suspect was because we were all equally crazy.

It wasn’t always smooth sailing and there were plenty of tiffs and misunderstandings too. I guess relationships are meant to test themselves in many ways. But we survived. At some point we probably realized that we weren’t together only for the good tidings. It went beyond liking the same romantic movies or having similar tastes in clothes . We huddled around Ouija boards and quarreled like siblings. We cried till they dried up and laughed till our sides ached. We talked till the wee hours of the night, passionately debating over the economic affairs of our country, the appropriate length for a mini skirt and the best cure for a hangover from smoking too much weed. We shared our dreams, fears, hopes, clothes and sometimes when we felt generous, even our food. We consoled each other on rough days and scolded each other on stupid decisions. We nursed the broken hearts and reveled in the happiness of new found love. We learnt the hard way and the easy way and along the way we picked up skills in de-boning a fish, preparing the perfect Margarita and serving with a smile.

At the end of four years we realized that life was in fact as easy as apple pie as long as you baked the crust well, flavored the apples correctly and managed that glossy brown finish.

After graduation, we all moved away to different cities and countries making promises to keep in touch. We did, mostly through emails and phone calls, mobiles were a very expensive proposition then. A couple of years and our lives got busy as we picked up jobs and got sucked in to the rut of daily routine, long working hours and deadlines to meet. We got busier when we found our life partners and settled down. Procreating left us exhausted and with no time to breath. It was all the hard work of one of the girls (love you Antz for doing this) who decided  to get us all together using this very popular messenger app. She rallied on till all 13 of us were on board, including the ones who were paranoid about using the social media!

We are all married now and most of us have kids and many of us can dish out a really wicked apple pie too. The fine lines are sneaking their way around the mouth and eyes. The day’s discussions surround around the weather, food (this one takes up a major part of our days discussion), kids, household chores, weight gain and our kids again. But it takes only an instant for all of us to be those bumbling teenagers again. It still amazes me how easy it was to pick up from where we left off, as if all the gaps in the years just melted away. With all of us spread across countries the group remains active at all times. I find myself waking up to a 100 pings which entails a detailed conversation on the most inane subjects. There are daily reports on the antics of our children and regular cribs about our husbands (this bit has helped us realize that we are all pretty much sailing in the same boat)

This group is my happy place. It’s like sipping on coffee in your favourite café and in the background you can hear the strains of your favourite song. Often when I re-read our conversations, I’m transported back to my hostel corridor and I can hear someone call  out to me to have some apple pie.

Happy New Year!!

They say that if you do anything on the day of the new year then you are likely to continue doing that for the rest of the year. This did hold true for me last year. I began the year by traveling and kept up that for the rest of the year visiting over a dozen places!
So I'm desperately hoping that I will be more regular this year on. I generally don't believe in making new year resolutions, as I know I can rarely stick by them. So this year I went against my rules and jotted down a list of things I intend to get working on. I don't want to share them yet because I'm scared it'll get jinxed....just one of those crazy notions probably.
Nevertheless, here's one resolution that's making some headway... hopefully it'll last to see the blog where I can say mission accomplished!!

Special note: The post was typed at around 1:30 am on 1st January and saved on Google Keep. Just got around to pasting it here ;).

Queen of procrastination

How do I begin a blog that’s more than a year overdue? The last time I blogged was March 2013 and I wrote about how I intended to write more often. What happened in the one year that kept me from typing paragraphs, you ask? Oh lots!!  A couple of months after I wrote this blog I lost my mother. She left without warning and left a void within me. I thought a zillion times about writing it all but just couldn't bring myself to sharing my thoughts and emotions. I still don’t.

Life moves on and like worker ants carrying about their work you pick yourself up and do so too.  We moved cities (Bareilly to Gwalior), moved houses and slowly settled in the new place. I often thought about getting down to blogging and promised myself regularly that I would do it. My sister egged me every now and then too. You see I’m good at putting things off but I’m even better at coming up with excuses. I can find reasons to procrastinate the most inane of tasks.  Need an excuse, I’m your girl! I've lost track of the number of times I've wowed to get up and exercise. What can I say, my excuses sound really genuine to me. Late night, late morning, can’t find the yoga mat, can’t find the workout music, Junior’s up, Pilot still sleeping…. etc etc. Needless to say I’m still battling the bulge.

There was no dearth of topics and ideas racing in my brain but my laziness and excuses always got the better of me. So how is that I’m here typing and trying to keep up with my speeding mind? No choice. A friend and I have taken up a 30 day challenge (more about the challenge itself, later). One part of the challenge involves keeping an active blog, so here I am!! It was probably just the motivation I needed to start my blog again. Also Junior is asleep!!  Although I already have at least 5-6 excuses lined up to avoid writing the blog, I have managed to silence that part of my brain for now. So hopefully this time around there will be a lot more spewing from this blog post!!

Bye for now

More about the 30 day challenge in my next blog!

Back to blogging

One of the most irritating things is to be stuck with an idea for a blog but not know how to begin. And that's where I am. I guess its expected considering I'm blogging after almost 19 months!! You lose touch...

The 19 month hiatus that I was on, was because I was expecting our first child and then after he was born... do I need to tell you more? When I was carrying, a friend of mine had suggested that I blog about how I felt. Apart from the fact that I felt (and looked) like a big globe, I was pretty cagey about my emotions about the whole thing. With the hormones playing a different tune everyday I was not sure about how I would come across. Or was it probably just laziness that took over?

For the past couple of weeks though I have been itching to write... er... type. I think it all started after I got myself a Twitter account which led me to read other blogs. The more I read, the more I wanted to write. The  problem was using my laptop without Junior trying to smash the daylights out of it. Can't blame him, he's only 11 months old. The laptop is a toy that holds equal fascination for him as it does for his mother. So I thought, what if I used a software or phone app to convert voice into text?? It could work out just fine since the speed of flow of my thoughts is much faster than my typing. I asked Hubby dear and another friend of mine, both were not very optimistic but I decided to give it a try. This is what happened:
Me: "Will you help me with this?"
App on phone: "Lick you head"

So here I am at almost 0100 am  in the morning, typing away, trying to match up or catch up with the speed at which my thoughts are running, whilst Junior and Hubby dear sleep soundly.

The idea behind this blog was to well just start blogging.. i just had to re-inaugurate it, sans any  topic or story or incident to share. So I'll dedicate this blog to Junior, due to whom I got to see a  different side and size of myself.

Here's to blogging often!!
Goodnight!!

Aging pangs

How in the world do you age and feel ageless? Oh yeah there’s the spiel, albeit clichéd, about how you are as young as you feel. Yeah I feel young, so young that sometimes I end up making decisions like a 13 year old. But that’s in my head and may be in my heart but definitely not in my physical form!
The weight just piles on easily! You look at a tart, and wham! You’ve just been slammed with a few more inches. And it stays, stuck on you like a tattoo you didn’t want! And then there’s hair that graying, bones that are creaking and lines that are showing!!! I agree there are solutions to all these complaints of mine. The market is flooded with products to battle the bulge, colour your hair and an array of age defying creams. But by the time you get around to deciding which one’s best for you, you’ve already aged another 5 years!
My sister says I shouldn’t feel so bad because now I’m wiser! Ok there’s a thought, but why should wisdom come at the cost of cellulite and wrinkles????